Honesty and Angels
by Chasing Aspirations
Summary: 'Back before all of the drama, they'd been best friends... Now Quinn was anything but innocent.' Everyone sees Quinn Fabray as an angel, but Santana knows better- after all, she knows Quinn better than anyone.


**Title: Honesty and Angels**

**Words: 1781**

**Summary: 'Back before all of the drama, they'd been best friends... Now Quinn was anything but innocent.' Everyone sees Quinn Fabray as an angel, but Santana knows better- after all, she knows Quinn better than anyone.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. If I did would Kurt really still be single? Would Sam really be straight? Would I really be writing fanfiction instead of the episodes? Would everyone really have made Santana cry in that last episode? ... You get the idea**

**A/N: Hi everyone! Don't have a clue where this idea came from but I wanted to explore a different side to two of the Glee characters; Santana Lopez and Quinn Fabray. It was actually a lot of fun to write and I may try more stories in this style if people like it. Let me know what you think of it! Enjoy!**

**Chasing Aspirations xxx**

Santana Lopez knew that she wasn't the 'kindest' of people. She'd been told that enough times over the years by exes, rivals, her family, her friends... she knew what she was. A 'bitch'. A 'slut'. Constantly criticising everyone around her, making them feel awful... they _hated_ her. She knew it all too well.

At least she was honest though. She never sugar coated her words like _some people_ did, never pretended to be some_ innocent little angel_, never denied what she _truly _believed. She would never deny who she was, change to fit in, pretend... she was _Santana Lopez_ and that would never change. She took pride in that fact.

Well, maybe not entirely honest. She did, after all, have _one_ secret... behind all of the bitter words and attitude, behind the cheerios uniform and smirk, behind the killer voice and confidence, she was insecure, vulnerable, scared. Scared of never leaving Lima Ohio, scared of never getting a real job, scared of never having a _real_ boyfriend, scared of dying alone...

She heard every word that the others said about her behind her back. Even her so called 'friends' (minus Brittany- Santana honestly didn't know what she'd do without her) poked fun at her 'flirty and flighty' ways. It _hurt_ a lot... not that she'd ever give them the satisfaction of knowing that, give _her_ the satisfaction. _She_ was always the one who said the worst things, _she_ was always the one who hurt Santana the most, _she_ was the one who had condemned her to this lifestyle.

_The Queen Bee: Quinn Fabray._

Even her name sounded so god dammed perfect. Sweet, innocent little Quinny. When they'd first met, it had been true. Back then, they both were the definition of _pure_. Back when the celibacy club wasn't just somewhere the cheerios went to gossip, back before _Noah Puckerman_ and_ Sue Sylvester_, back when Santana had called Quinn her friend, and had meant it.

Back before all of the drama, they'd been best friends. Santana still kept the tacky little charm bracelet that Quinn had given her as a good luck charm when they'd started McKinley safely tucked inside her locker. Before all of the boyfriends, choreography and plotting they'd just been ordinary girls. They used to spend weekends at Santana's, reading magazines and giggling over the boy who'd been spending time with Santana. She missed those days...

Now Quinn was anything _but _innocent.

Still, no one else could see that. They just saw 'adorable little blond angel' and then 'sexy head cheerleader'. Everyone loved her. Girls wanted to be her, boys wanted to be with her. She was top of the pyramid, the most popular girl in the school.

But then came 'baby gate'... and she fell. And suddenly, there was the Quinn who had been her _best friend_ all of those years ago. Santana had missed her, she'd been so grateful to get her back... but she wasn't back. It was all an act- a clever one though. She'd even fooled Santana for a while.

But then she'd returned the next year, full of determination, and had told Sue the secret that Santana had told her in confidence. It was then that Santana realised, her best friend no longer existed... she'd died _that night _along with their friendship.

Naturally she'd been mad at this revelation. She'd actually attacked the blonde, desperate to make her realise what she'd become. Everyone assumed it was because Quinn had stolen her position as 'Head Cheerio'. A part of it had been that too, she knew that Quinn was aware of just how much that position had meant to her... well it wasn't the first time Quinn had stolen something she cared about.

She'd also stolen her boyfriend, Noah Puckerman. A self proclaimed 'badass'. He was cool, smooth, smarter than he pretended he was, a great performer, a good friend... someone who made her feel special. Only him and Brittany had ever managed to make her feel that way. She'd loved him in her own way, her heart had broken when she'd found out about his love for 'dear, beautiful, wonderful little Quinn Fabray'. She'd never felt so empty as when he told her that she had been a distraction but now, since the 'golden girl' was carrying his child, he had a chance and he would fight for her. He'd left Santana without a second glance... if he'd looked back, he might have noticed the tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.

Naturally Puck's 'master plan' had failed. Santana had sabotaged their relationship, taking great pleasure in telling Quinn about their sexts. All she'd had to do was get him drunk while reminding him of the blonde's lies about their baby... the seduction had been _too easy_. Seeing the hurt in his eyes when he'd realised what she'd done and knowing the agony reflected there was entirely her fault... that had been far less easy to deal with.

She hadn't wanted to accept Puck's offer a few months ago when he had suggested that they start 'dating' again. All of it was a lie. She didn't want that kind of life anymore and she'd planned to tell Puck as much but his words had stopped her;

'_I may not give a damn about you but neither does anyone else at this school. You're a bitch who likes to screw up everyone else's lives and people are getting sick of it. So, I may not be what you want, but we both know damn well that I'm the best you're gonna get.'_

It was true. Before the week was over, the two were back to their friends with benefits routine... only the 'friends' part had died along with Puck's chances with Quinn last year. It was all _Quinn's_ fault. Before he had fallen for her, they were both friends, they were both happy. He rarely smiled anymore. All _her_ fault.

She'd been furious at the blonde. She'd wanted revenge, so she had done the unthinkable. She had taken the only boy that Quinn had ever seemed to care about and had stolen his virginity. Seeing the hurt expression on the head cheerios face when she'd told the blonde this information was worth every awkward fumble she'd had to deal with. Finn really had been _clueless._

After that night he'd never shown any interest in her again. He'd told Santana that he still had feelings for someone else. Santana highly doubted he'd only meant Rachel.

Of course, with the New Year had come new relationships. Now there was Sam, the blonde haired beauty who was sweet, kind and caring, funny and talented, willing to pursue Quinn even when he was rejected, willing to love her unconditionally. He was far too good for her. He deserved someone better. Someone who cared about his feelings and ambitions the way he cared about hers. But he was blind and in love. He didn't_ know_ her the way Santana did.

She couldn't help but envy their 'perfect' relationship. They were just so 'cute' and 'adorable' as a couple. According to a dreamy looking Mercedes, they were 'soul mates'. Santana wanted someone like that, a person who looked past the mask that she showed the world everyday and saw Santana for who she truly was. She was well aware that she would never get that 'happily ever after' though. She didn't live in a fairytale. Besides, she was no princess.

She hadn't been since _that night_... the night she'd lost her virginity. He'd been her friend for years. They'd always been close and she'd often spent hours chatting with Quinn about him, both of them giggling like idiots. He'd become her first kiss, her first boyfriend, her first love. His name had been _Mark_.

That night had been their four month anniversary and Mark had suggested that they should 'celebrate' the occasion. Santana, being young and naive, had thought that she was ready. She hadn't been ready _at all_. What made it worse was hearing him utter a name that definitely wasn't hers. She hadn't realised until later that the name she'd heard had been_ Quinn_.

The next day, she had woken up with a feeling of emptiness in the pit of her stomach; she'd woken up in an empty bed, lying next to a crumpled sheet of white paper. The words on that sheet had changed her life forever.

_Dear Santana,_

_I'm really sorry that it has to be this way, but I think that we should break up. I feel awful about this, but it's not fair to you if I... I'm in love with someone else. I'm really sorry Santana; I tried to stop it from happening but, your friend Quinn... I tried to fight it but, she's so amazing. She's like some angel sent from heaven and I still can't believe she actually said yes when I asked her out. I didn't mean for our relationship to end like this, last night was my last attempt of staying faithful and staying with you but... I knew it when I accidentally said her name instead of yours; I can't live this lie anymore. You deserve better than that._

_Thank you for the last four months, they were amazing. I'm so sorry that this is how they ended,_

_Mark x_

Santana had screwed the letter up into a ball, hurling it across the room before curling herself into a tiny little ball on the bed and crying until she was shaking and couldn't breathe properly. Quinn had betrayed her. She'd known how much Santana cared about him but she'd still agreed to be his girlfriend, knowing how much it would hurt her best friend. It was then that Santana first saw through the illusion that was the 'wonderful, angelic Quinn Fabray' and saw the monster that lurked behind.

That day, Santana had changed. She'd hardened against the world, denying everyone access to her heart, afraid of being hurt again. Only Puck and Brittany had ever broken through.

And while she _hurt_ and _cried_ and _suffered_, Quinn _smiled _and _laughed _and _enjoyed life_. Even after her temporary 'fall from grace' she was still McKinley's 'angel'. Then again, no one else really knew her...

But that wouldn't last forever. One thing Santana had learnt over the years was that good things come to those who wait. So she would stay in the background and she would watch and she would wait. And one glorious day, the illusion would crumble and everyone would see the darkness hidden behind that 'perfect' smile and those 'stunning' eyes. Yes, she would wait until everyone saw their 'golden girl' for what she truly was; a _lie_.

**A/N: So, what do you think? Liked it? Disliked it? Let me know! Also if anyone has any ideas for a fanfic that they would like me to write for them, let me know- I now take requests. Either way, I really hope you enjoyed this story! Thanks for reading!**

**Chasing Aspirations xxx**


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